A PSL Solves Everything
Each year the Pumpkin Spice Latte comes out earlier and earlier and it makes me so mad! BUT this year, I learnt something different, rather than getting mad at the fact I realized it just means one thing:
FALL CAME EARLY
Any excuse to extend my favorite season!? I’ll take it! Starbucks has a place in my heart, not just for its amazing seasonal drinks or its to die for cake pops ! But because it’s a place that has always been there for me. Which I know sounds super cheesy and ridiculous, but let me explain…
When I was 12, my family announced we were moving to America! I went from my small English town, all girls catholic school, to a typical New Jersey suburb filled with people and things I did not know. I felt massively different from everyone, a complete outsider. Everyone sounded different, everyone looked and dressed different, even the things they talked about was different. It was a huge learning curve for a young girl turning 13. The only thing I did recognize and did know was Starbucks, and that Caramel frappuccino! This was a place that all girls at that age wanted to go. It was also the one place that didn’t remind me I was an outsider. It was the one place I could go to and feel confident for a little while.
5 years later, I was really loving the US, it had become my home, I still felt like a slight outsider, but I was comfortable with that feeling and I had grown used to it. I had made friends and lots of memories. I had grown some important years there. HOWEVER, right when I was supposed to be applying to colleges, my family announced we would be moving AGAIN! This time to SWITZERLAND!?
Now if I already feel like an outsider moving from one english speaking country to another, how was moving to a country that spoke a completely different language going to feel?
Answer: Not good.
We moved the winter after I graduated high school, I signed up for language classes, and tried as hard as an 18 year old could do to learn swiss german as quickly as she could. It didn’t really take, it was hard. So I reached out to americans and brits living in the area via facebook. Maybe If I could just meet another english speaking person who went through this, I would find it easier. Plus I was 18 and had no friends. But, out of the 100s of people I reached out to…only one replied :( and turned out she was a famous ice skater so she had no time to hang out with the english speaking loser.
So I was 18, all my friends in the US were busy at college, I was stuck in a country with no friends and no purpose, overall, felt crappy. Even going to grocery store was hard, I didn’t recognize what anything could possible be and to top it all off I couldn’t even read what it was. I would go to get cheese and find out it was fish paste. I would rent DVDs but they wouldn’t have english subtitles!?
So the one place I would go to feel some type of normalcy was Starbucks. The employees all spoke english, so I could order my chai latte as I wanted and sit in complete peace and for one moment, pretend I felt at home. One day a week I would get the train into the city and just sit at starbucks for hours. I spent all week struggling through all the french and german and the unfamiliarity all the while knowing that at the end of the week I had Starbucks to look forward to.
The year and a half I spent in Switzerland was so hard, I was constantly trying to make it feel home and it constantly showed me ways it wasn’t. Eventually I decided to leave and go to university in England. Back to the beginning!
Now considering I was getting good at moving to new places and adapting as best I could, moving to a part of England I didn’t know, didnt worry me too much. I thought for the first time in 6 years I would be able to walk into a grocery store and know everything in it, I would know what was on the tv, I would know what people were like. Life could be a little more predictable, in a good way. Plus I was ready to leave the nest and start life on my own terms. However I underestimated a lot. I underestimated how horrible it would feel to be away from my family who were still in Switzerland. What also surprised me was that I still felt like an outsider!? I felt like I had grown up in America, I had spent a year and a half trying to be a Swiss, England was a distant memory at this point. there were still things I didn’t know and didn’t realize I didn’t know…it never ends. :(
I found myself getting closer to the international students, one from LA in particular, this helped me realize I really missed the American part of my life. So, during a struggle to find some normalcy, once again, I found a Starbucks! It was 5 miles away from the town I lived in but I didn’t care. I would walk for 2 hours uphill to the nearest Starbucks just to get a Caramel Macchiato and a whole lot of comfort. Again, I felt at home the most, in a damn Starbucks…. it connected me to the first time I found home there, it connected me to my home in America and it connected me to the many breakdowns I had in Switzerland that were solved as soon as I walked into Starbucks.
Two years into university a Starbucks was announced to be opening in our town! I IMMEDIATELY ran down there with my resume and did not leave until I had a job there. I love that place, you’re telling me I could spend most my days there and get free drinks?! SIGN ME UP I got the job…And minus the regular shit you get with retail jobs and being a barista, I actually really enjoyed it. I finally felt at home every….single…day. I had Starbucks to ground me pretty much everyday. I would open the store, finish midday, go to my classes, and then go to bed with a smile on my face. I couldn’t be happier at that time.
Once I graduated my family announced ANOTHER MOVE. This time they were leaving Switzerland and going to California baby! My eyes glittered. I wanted to go back to America so bad, it wasn’t New Jersey where all my friends were but it was something. By this time I realized I was more American at heart than anything and that America was where I wanted to be. So I hopped on that plane and headed straight to San Francisco with my family.
What I experienced with this move was so much different from any other move, I was older, experienced (in moving and change) and more than anything I was just happy to be back in America. Now 6 years later and I haven’t left! Nor do I not plan on leaving in fact I am applying for my citizenship! Moving is hard, moving to new place is harder, moving counties is even harder, I have had amazing memories in every place I have lived..even Switzerland. I will never forget them, and they have helped to build the person I am today. For the years I struggled with being an outsider starbucks was my happy place that erased that feeling for a while and I will always be grateful for those memories. I no longer feel the need to erase the feeling anymore, each day I am here in America I feel more and more at home. I know I could live anywhere in this country now, I am happy that I now know my true home, its America, and anywhere there is a starbucks nearby!